


When You Were Young

by StephaniD



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29030343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephaniD/pseuds/StephaniD
Summary: Kira receives an Orb Vision from the Orb of Time and comes to in the body of a 9 year old. Why did this happen? And how will she return to her proper age?Thank you Akiva for title help. No update schedule.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax & Kira Nerys
Comments: 16
Kudos: 19





	1. what?

**Author's Note:**

> Kiera asked in the Jadzia is Love fb group 'who's writing an age regression fic with cute Nerys' and this happened.

Kira stumbled back from the Orb and tripped, landing on her butt. Her clothes suddenly dwarfed her. She looked down to find herself prepubescent. She hit her combadge. 

"Kira to Dax." 

"Dax here. You sound different, are comms okay?" 

"Please meet me in the shrine." 

"The shrine? Are you sure?" 

"Pleeeeease!" Kira hadn't intended to whine, but it had come out that way. 

"Look, kid, you need to find Major Kira and give her her combadge back before Odo catches you-" Jadzia advised. 

"Jadzia it's me! It's Nerys. I need you to come to the shrine. Something happened." 

"On my way." Jadzia promised. Once the comlink ended Kira let out the sniffle she'd been suppressing. She didn't know what was going on and she was scared. For now she pulled off her boots and rolled up her sleeves and pants. 

"Kira?" Jadzia asked as she entered. 

"Jadzia!" Kira ran over in her too-big socks and hugged her friend tight. Jadzia was easily 40cm taller than her now. "I don't know what happened! I had an Orb vision-" she sniffled, "and then I- I was like this! I don't know how it happened, or how to change me back, or anything!" She was crying, and Jadzia rubbed her back. 

"Okay, shhhh, it's okay, we'll figure it out." Jadzia soothed. Once Kira got control of herself she let Jadzia scan her with the tricorder. "According to this, you're 9 years old now. Unfortunately, there's not much else this can tell me." Jadzia frowned. 

"But you're a scientist!" Kira protested. 

"I'm sorry. You should go to the Infirmary just in case, I'll let Sisko know what's going on, and get you some clothes that fit." 

"Okay." Kira knew it was the smart thing to do, even though she didn't like it. 

"Bashir?" She asked as she entered. 

"Yes?" He looked up and immediately grabbed his tricorder to scan her. "Kira?" He asked as he knelt down and started the scan. She hated being short again. 

"Yeah. Something happened with the Orb of Time. I don't know what." She took a deep breath to not cry again. "Can you fix me?" 

"Logically we should be able to, but we need to determine how it happened in order to reverse the process. I'll need to do some more scans. Would you like something more comfortable to wear?" 

"Jadzia said she'd get me clothing, but maybe for now..." Kira hiked her collar up off her shoulder. Bashir grabbed her a child-size set of patient clothes and left her alone to change. 

"Okay, I'm ready." Kira walked over to Bashir. 

"First off, the fact that you remember who Jadzia and I are is promising." Bashir led her to a biobed and Kira climbed up. "How do you feel?" 

"Frustrated." Kira replied immediately. "Scared." She admitted. "Physically I feel fine." 

"So it would be accurate to say that all of your adult memories and personality are just in a smaller, younger body." Bashir stated. 

"Yes." 

"Dax to Kira." Her combadge was somewhat muffled in the pile of her uniform. Bashir grabbed it for her. 

"Kira here." 

"Kira, would you be okay waiting in the infirmary for a bit? Sisko and I would like to investigate the shrine before this happens to anyone else." 

"Do whatever you need to, Dax. I'm sure Bashir's tests are going to take time." 

Kira sat on the biobed and swung her legs as she waited for Bashir to analyze the test results. Why was boredom so much more unbearable now? Was she going to have to grow up again? What if she went to the Orb again, would it fix her? Or make her even younger? The Orb of Time seemed to be nothing but trouble, they should probably lock it up somewhere or something. Once she was an adult again. Chief O'Brien entered the infirmary, sighed when he saw her, and went to talk to Bashir. Kira hopped down and followed him. What could he possibly have to discuss with Bashir at work? 

"Kira." Bashir greeted her. "You may be surprised to know that you are not the first case of spontaneous gross age regression known to Starfleet." 

"I'm not?" She asked. 

"In fact, a few years ago, members of the Enterprise D were affected, and Chief O'Brien helped restore them to their proper ages. I'm still waiting on a response from their CMO, I'm hoping the Chief can give me a hand in the meantime." 

"Any idea how long it will take? Can I wait in my quarters?" 

"You don't seem to be in danger of regressing further, I don't see why not." Bashir nodded. 

"Come on!" Kira jabbed at the display on the infirmary replicator and banged it with a fist. 

"What's the matter?" O'Brien sighed. 

"It won't give me my uniform in my current size." Kira seethed. 

"It has very limited clothing patterns unfortunately." Bashir replied. 

"Probably it expects members of the Bajoran Militia to be taller. I'll see what I can do once I have my toolkit, but you ought to be able to replicate other clothes your size for now." 

"But I _want_ my _uniform_." Kira crossed her arms. Wearing children's clothes would just make her feel even more like a child. 

"Well, then, you'll have to wait. Sorry." O'Brien shrugged. Kira went to the bathroom for privacy. This wasn't a big deal, it was just clothes, why was she getting so upset? When she had been 9 for real she had had much bigger problems to worry about. But she couldn't stop the twisting in her gut, the heat in her chest, on her face. She looked in the mirror and stopped. She looked so juvenile. The sinks came up past her navel, her hair was long and disheveled. Her face was splotchy with rage, her eyes puffy and wet, nearly crying. She looked pitiful, and no militia uniform would fix that. She wiped her face and composed herself, then sullenly went to get children's clothes from the replicator. At least she could get an all red outfit, and shoes that fit. 

Kira paced her quarters. She had so much energy and nothing to do with it. She'd combed out her hair, tied it up, and stopped herself from cutting it. She'd tried praying, but couldn't sit still. She'd nearly opened a comm to Bashir half a dozen times, but she knew he'd comm her the minute he had something to report. Re-aging her wasn't going to be easy, it was going to take time to figure out. She wondered how similar her case was to what O'Brien had helped with. She needed to do something. When she was really 9 she'd just run, run laps around the Singha refugee camp. Well, she could still run. The habitat ring was a good size, and she could move to the docking ring if need be. She left her quarters and started to run. Her shoes were too stiff so she took them off and ran with one in each hand. 

"No running." A Starfleet security officer held a hand out to stop her. Kira scowled. If she had looked normal no-one would have stopped her. "Go to the holosuites if you want to play, kid." Kira didn't know if Quark would sell holosuite time to her when she looked like this, but she remembered Jake bought holosuite time when he was 13. But she looked even younger, and didn't want to talk to Quark, and didn't want to spend money just to run. She walked out to the docking ring and started to run again. When would Bashir comm her? Surely it would be today. Would Sisko want her to work tomorrow, looking like she did?

"Hey, what's going on?" A Bajoran security officer stepped in front of her. 

"Nothing." Kira replied, scowling again. 

"Why aren't you wearing your shoes?" 

"Because I want to run and these aren't good for running." 

"Where'd you get that combadge?" The woman frowned. 

"It's mine." Kira sighed. "This is going to sound crazy. I'm Kira Nerys, Major in the Bajoran Militia, second in command of the station. Something happened to me a few hours ago that made me look like a 9 year old." 

"Where's your family, kid?" The woman sighed. 

"Ask Lieutenant Dax! She can confirm everything I'm saying!" Kira crossed her arms. The woman frowned and hit her own combadge. 

"Atola to Lieutenant Dax." 

"Dax." 

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry to interrupt, I have a child here claiming to be Major Kira, insisting I call you." 

"Yes, that is the Major. We're not certain what happened, we're working on aging her back up." Dax informed her. 

"Oh. My apologies." 

"We understand, you did the right thing. Dax out." 

"I'm sorry Major." Atola frowned. "Would you like me to alert the other security officers so they know you look younger?" 

"I'm hoping we'll have this fixed soon." Kira sighed. "Though it may be a good idea, since we don't know how long I'll be stuck like this." 

"You understand that we can't allow running, even in low-frequented areas of the station." Atola noted. 

"Yeah." Kira sighed. "I still have all my memories of being an adult, I still feel like an adult, but I guess I've got kid logic." She nodded. "I'll let you get back to work. Thanks for understanding." Kira sat on the lip of a nearby doorway to put her shoes back on. 

Kira paced her quarters again. She didn't want to talk to Quark, but she couldn't sit still. When was Bashir going to have even a hint of an answer? She grabbed some money and headed to Quark's. She didn't make it to the bar, her gaze stopped at Garak's shop. She hadn't heard from Jadzia, and would need clothes for tomorrow, at least. She sighed and headed in. 

"Well aren't you brave." The tailor observed, keeping his distance. Kira didn't reply, looking at the few options for children. "Most Bajoran children your age hide behind their parents when they visit, but you came alone, that's commendable." He continued. 

"Do you have anything in red?" Kira asked. 

"Not at the moment, unfortunately. Favorite color?" 

"It doesn't show blood." Kira stared him in the eyes as she said it. Garak merely smiled. 

"Fresh blood, not as much, but it does show dried blood, not to mention blood of Vulcans, Bolians, Orions… Plenty of races have non-red blood. I can make you something, if you like." He offered. Kira considered. 

"How much for a rush on a Bajoran Militia uniform in my size?" 

"That would depend when you need it by. How urgent is this game of pretend?" 

"0500 tomorrow." Kira crossed her arms. 

"Quite a rush. Let's see, for something that complex that soon… Are you paying in litas or latinum?" 

"Latinum." 

"30 strips." That was double the price of his most expensive child's piece, but she did want it tomorrow. 

"Deal." Kira emptied her pouch on the counter. "I only have 15 strips with me, I'll get you the rest soon." 

"Alright." Garak replied and scanned her for measurements, then spoke up when she was almost to the door. "I do hope you get this sorted out soon, Major." Kira whirled around, hands in fists. 

"Bashir to Kira." Her combadge relayed. Her fists tightened. She wanted to question how the man knew it was her, but Bashir had finally gotten back to her. 

"0500 tomorrow." She pointed at Garak. He nodded. Kira hit her combadge and stalked over to the infirmary. "Kira here, be there in a minute." She ended the connection before Bashir could say anything.

Kira strode into the infirmary and was stunned at the sight of Sisko. Normally he was tall, but now the Emissary towered over her. 

"Ah, Kira, I almost didn't recognize you with long hair." Sisko smiled and they started the impromptu meeting. He and Jadzia had scanned the Orb of Time, and spoken to every Vedek they could, even Bareil on Bajor. The Vedeks all suggested that the Prophets had done this for a reason that Kira needed to figure out. Bashir had spoken with the doctor from the Enterprise, and he had some theories, but nothing solid. 

"What do you need from me?" Kira asked once they'd all finished. 

"For now, your patience." Bashir replied. "It may take me up to a week to identify and reverse the process." 

"Chief O'Brien and his wife have volunteered to let you stay with them and their daughter if you like." Sisko said gently. Kira scowled. 

"I know I'm shorter than usual, but I'll be fine staying in my quarters alone, like normal." 

"I'd like you to speak with Vedek Porta about your Orb vision tomorrow." Sisko added. Kira stared at him. It was unlike him to accept his role as Emissary so easily. "Any clue that you or he can give us about what caused this would be useful." He continued. Kira nodded. 

"So you don't want me at work." 

"Not tomorrow, no. We'll end up playing this by ear, seeing how everything goes, how it's affected you." He replied simply. Kira nodded again, remembering how her thoughts had been affected. "Alright. I promise we're going to figure this out and get you back to normal, Major." Everyone wandered out of the infirmary (except Bashir). 

"I know you said you want to stay in your quarters alone like normal," Jadzia started, "I just wanted to remind you that I'm always here if you want to talk, anytime." 

"Thanks. I think I want to be alone for now." Kira smiled up at her friend, then doubled back to the infirmary. 

"Kira?" Bashir looked just as alarmed as when she'd first entered the infirmary as a child. It didn't help her nerves. 

"I think this thing is affecting my brain." She admitted, climbing onto a biobed and clenching her fists. "I still feel like an adult, I have all my memories, but my logic, and especially my emotions, it's like I'm a kid again." 

"It could be due to brain structure or hormones." Bashir thought aloud as he scanned her. "You're not regressing further, Major." He assured after looking at the results. "A 9 year old's brain hasn't finished forming yet, that's likely the culprit for why you're feeling this way. Everything's more intense, right?" 

"Yeah." She nodded, glad he was certain she wasn't getting worse. 

"The emotional processing of your brain is more powerful than the logic processing right now." 

"Thanks Bashir." She smiled and hopped off the biobed. 

Kira had gone back to her quarters for money, paid Garak for the rest of her uniform (he'd already gotten started working on it), and went to Quark's. She paid for an hour in a holosuite, and didn't respond to any of his questions. The computer constructed a children's park with play structures, things Kira had seen very rarely in her life. She climbed all over the structures, enjoyed the simple rebellion and achievement of climbing up a slide, climbed and jumped and balanced places she clearly wasn't meant to be. She stood on the pointed roof of the tallest structure and sighed. This was the childhood she wished she'd had, the childhood she ought to have had. She sniffled and clambered down too fast, feet skidding, hurtling around corners on just the strength of a hand on a pole, bruising her shoulder on the wall when she let go too early. She hit the ground and ran, feet and heart pounding a jagged beat. The holosuite continued to create nondescript areas of soft moss and short grass as she kept running. Eventually she tired and threw herself to the ground to catch her breath, shoulders heaving. 

Kira flopped to her back. She felt… She was mourning her childhood of course, but she wished someone else was here. She felt lonely. Solitude had been another rarity in her life, there were always other people around, starving Bajorans or uniformed Cardassians. She pushed herself up and left the holosuite just as the 5 minute warning went off. 

"Springwine." Kira said as she pulled herself up onto the barstool. Quark turned to the replicator. 

"Kava juice." He said as he set a glass in front of her. "1 slip." 

"You don't realize who I am." She sighed. 

"I don't care if you're the great granddaughter of the Grand Nagus, I'm not serving alcohol to a minor." Quark replied. 

"Quark. I'm Kira. Look at my face. You know the big commotion at the shrine today? That's because I got turned into a 9 year old." Kira explained. Quark frowned at her. Just then Bashir entered after his shift, Kira waved him over. 

"Bashir, please tell Quark who I am." 

"This is the Major." Bashir nodded, Quark stared at her in shock. 

"And please tell him that I am old enough to have a springwine." Kira continued. 

"Actually, I would advise against alcohol or synthehol with your condition, we don't know how it might affect the re-aging process." 

"You said you won't be able to fix me for a week." Kira crossed her arms. 

"Alcohol affects the brain. I'd rather not take chances with yours." He frowned apologetically. Kira huffed and slid off her barstool, then reconsidered and slapped a slip of latinum on the bar and grabbed the glass. She was still thirsty from her run. She headed to the habitat ring, drinking her juice. 

"Kira to Dax." She said, opening a comlink. "You up for company?" 

"Of course!" Jadzia sounded genuinely excited. 

"Hey." Jadzia smiled when the door to her quarters opened. "I know I promised to get you clothes that fit, but I was thinking about standard Starfleet replicators, not Cardassian station ones." She frowned apologetically. "But we can check out the Promenade if you like." 

"Not now, thanks though. I just paid Garak to make me a new uniform for tomorrow." Kira replied as they sat on the couch. "Thanks for being so understanding earlier. Bashir said my emotions are being processed like I'm 9, which makes everything more intense." 

"Makes sense." Jadzia nodded. "I'd probably react the same if I was suddenly a kid again." 

"Did you find out anything about the Orb?" Kira asked. 

"It scans the exact same as the first time we saw it." Jadzia shook her head. 

"I know you're not very comfortable with my religion, thank you for investigating so thoroughly." 

"Of course." Jadzia laid a soft hand on Kira's shoulder. "I care about you, Nerys." Kira nodded and sniffled, Jadzia smiled. "So what were you doing that caused that officer to question you?" Jadzia asked with a knowing grin. 

"Running." Kira shrugged. "She wouldn't have stopped me if I didn't look like this." 

"Just running to run?" Jadzia asked casually, Kira nodded. "When's the last time you did that?" Kira thought back. It had been years. 

"Before I came to the station." She replied. She probably would have been stopped even as an adult. 

"Is that what you did to pass the time while you waited for Bashir?" 

"And I went to a holosuite." Kira shrugged, Jadzia stared at her. 

"You hate the holosuites." Jadzia stated, Kira scoffed. 

"I don't hate them, I just think usually they're a waste of time, and I don't like the characters." 

"So what program did you run?" 

"No program, I just told the computer to make a climbing structure." 

"A playground?" Jadzia asked. 

"Yeah. I climbed on that for a while." 

"You can say you played." Jadzia said gently. Kira scowled. "Or not." Jadzia shrugged. Kira took a deep breath. 

"I... played. I- I had fun." 

"That's good, I'd hate to think you were bored for hours on end." 

"Went to Quark's and Bashir said I'm not even allowed to have synthehol." Kira frowned. 

"Well, I agree that alcohol would probably not be a good idea, but we're not going to be getting you back to normal tonight, I think a little synthehol between friends would be okay." Jadzia smiled. 

"Please." Kira grinned. Jadzia got them each a glass of synthale from the replicator. Kira took a deep sip and fought not to spit it out. 

"Tastebuds of a 9 year old, too?" Jadzia frowned sympathetically as Kira nodded. Kira stubbornly took another sip. She was an adult and she was going to enjoy a glass of synthale with her friend. "We can have soft drinks, I don't mind." Jadzia said. 

"This is soft." Kira argued. 

"Okay." Jadzia replied easily. 

"This sucks. I can't have a drink with my friend, I can't go to work, I can't even enjoy being a kid again-" Kira stopped, realizing she'd said too much. Jadzia frowned at her, then shrugged and took another sip of her synthale. They drank quietly for a few minutes, Kira glad her friend didn't press for more information. 

"Any plans for tomorrow besides talking with Vedek Porta?" Jadzia asked. 

"Maybe pay Garak for another outfit." Kira sighed. "He knew who I was without me telling him." 

"He's a very perceptive man." Jadzia frowned. "Are there no other places to buy clothes on the station? I'd think you'd rather buy from anyone but Garak." 

"Oh, I would, but nobody else makes children's clothes." Kira sighed. "And he can make my uniform in my size." 

"I was thinking maybe we could visit a holosuite together tomorrow after work, I can show you some of my favorite activities from my childhood." 

"From Jadzia's childhood?" Kira clarified. 

"Well, most Dax hosts loved playing in the snow as kids." Jadzia shrugged. "Does Dakhur province get snow?" 

"Not a lot, usually around this much," Kira held her thumb and forefinger apart, "comes and goes multiple times throughout winter." 

"Trill gets loads more, up to your knees or higher." Jadzia smiled. "The holosuite can make us warm clothing." Kira allowed herself a grin, her friend's excitement rubbing off. "Oh, speaking of clothing, do you know when Garak's going to have your uniform done?" Jadzia asked. 

"I paid him good money to have it done by 0500 tomorrow." Kira replied. "I guess I'll go to his shop then, we didn't discuss that." 

"I'm getting hungry, you want to have dinner here?" Jadzia asked. 

"Sure." Kira replied. They both ordered food from the replicator and chatted while they ate. Spending time with her best friend, Kira almost felt like nothing was wrong, except everything was the wrong size. After dinner they talked some more, until Kira found herself nodding off. 

"Computer, time." Kira said. 

"2200 hours." The computer answered. Kira groaned. Jadzia sighed. 

"You're welcome to the couch if you like, or we could share the bed." She offered. 

"I'll be fine in my own quarters." Kira shook her head with a smile. "I'll see you at Quark's tomorrow?" 

"I'll book us 1900 if that works? We can grab dinner after." 

"Sure." Kira headed to her own quarters. 

She knelt in front of her prayer wheel and prayed for guidance. Why did this happen? What was she supposed to do? She prayed until she woke up suddenly, still in front of the prayer wheel. She changed into what had been her shortest nightgown, which now reached past her knees, and got in bed. And couldn't sleep. She had just fallen asleep while praying, and now that she was in bed, she wasn't tired at all. She punched her stupid Cardassian triangular pillow. 

"Computer, play Bajoran lullabies, volume 10%." Eventually she drifted off to sleep. 


	2. why?

Kira woke at 0430 and dragged herself into her clothes from the previous day, opting for raktajino before prayers in the hopes she wouldn't fall asleep like the previous night. She took a sip from her mug and nearly spit it out, it tasted so bitter. She put her mug back in the replicator and got a new raktajino, double sweet. She took a hesitant sip and found this mug more palatable. She'd have to ask O'Brien to take a look at her replicator. Why was she so tired? She'd gotten more sleep last night than she usually did. 

After her prayers Kira went to Garak's and changed into her new uniform in his fitting room. She got another raktajino from the replimat, this one also tasted horribly bitter until she got it double sweet. She didn't want to call on the Vedek too early, so she went to the Infirmary to have them scan her and maybe explain why she was so tired. Bashir's shift hadn't started, but he'd briefed Nurse Jabara on what happened to Kira. 

"I'm hoping you can tell me why I'm so tired." Kira said. 

"Are you sure you should be drinking that?" Nurse Jabara eyed her raktajino. Kira sighed. 

"I didn't even realize. I was just so tired this morning I got a raktajino without thinking. But caffeine is mostly bad for kids long-term, right? I'm not going to be like this forever." 

"It could still lead to side effects in the short term." Jabara replied. "You're in the body of a 9 year old, you're going to have to parent yourself." Neither one mentioned that plenty of Bajorans had to raise themselves over the past generation. "As to why you're so tired, the body rhythm of a typical 9 year old isn't used to waking this early, you may be tired for a few more hours." 

"Even though I fell asleep before 2300 last night?" Kira asked, incredulous. 

"You'll probably need 9 or more hours of sleep per night." Jabara nodded. 

"Okay." Kira sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. "That's annoying. But it's normal? It's not something I should be worried about?" 

"It's normal." Jabara assured. "If you'd like I could send you information on raising a child your age, it may help you understand what you're experiencing." 

"I'd appreciate that, thanks. Do children's palates react more strongly to bitter flavors?" She asked. 

"And less strongly to sweet ones." Jabara confirmed. "Foods that you can normally eat with no problem may be too bitter now, foods that are normally too sweet may taste good now." 

"Thank you, Jabara." Kira smiled and left. 

Kira entered the shrine and found it empty. She knelt to pray, but couldn't focus, and couldn't get comfortable. She managed to get through her customary morning prayer again through sheer stubbornness. She knew that forcing herself to stay would lead to irritation, which would not be helpful when discussing her Orb vision with Vedek Porta. She got a cup of juice at the replimat and watched the Promenade wake up. 

"Morning." Jadzia slid into the seat next to her with a raktajino. "How's everything?" 

"9 year olds shouldn't have alcohol." Kira sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. "9 year olds shouldn't have caffeine. 9 year olds need 9 or more hours of sleep per night." She listed. "9 year olds are more sensitive to bitter flavors." 

"We're doing our best to get you back to normal as soon as we can." Jadzia sighed sadly. "Sisko's going to send out a general briefing today so people know what you look like now." 

"Lunch together?" Kira asked. 

"Sure." Jadzia nodded. They sat in comfortable quiet and sipped their drinks until Jadzia had to go to Ops. Kira headed back to the shrine. 

"Vedek Porta?" She asked, the man turned to her. "I'm Kira Nerys. I'm hoping you can help me make sense of what I saw in my Orb vision yesterday." 

"The Emissary asked me about you. The most we can do is our best, Prophets guide us." 

"I'd really appreciate your help, Vedek. I was blessed to be given an Orb vision from the Orb of Time, and when the vision was over I looked like this." Kira explained. The Vedek nodded her to continue. "I've heard that in Orb visions, the Prophets can take the form of people you know to talk to you." 

"Sometimes, yes." 

"How do I know if the people I saw in my vision were Prophets?" 

"Explain your vision to me." 

"A few memories of being scared as a child. The important one was, I was a child, refusing to eat some kind of beans because I couldn't stand the texture, and my father was upset, yelling at me that I had to eat them, they were the only food we had." Kira took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped her eyes. "I don't remember if that ever happened, if it was a memory or a vision. But what happened in the vision after that never happened for real. Gul Dukat and one of the patrols from the refugee camp came into our house, and they were-" Kira heaved a sob and Vedek Porta handed her a disposable face cloth. He guided her to kneel on the floor, and stroked her shoulder as she cried. "They were talking to each other about how I needed help, and argued if I was worth it, and when I tried to speak they pushed my face into my plate while my father watched, and I'm so scared that the Prophets think I'm not worthy of their help." She sobbed. Eventually she was able to control her breathing enough to repeat the story so the Vedek could understand, pulling her loose hair from her wet face. 

"I believe this is a test from the Prophets." Vedek Porta intoned. Kira started crying again. "If this is a test, they are trying to help you learn something." Kira desperately didn't want to mess up, to risk the Prophets turning from her. "What is the lesson you dislike, that you must learn at this age? You don't need to tell me, but think about it." Porta advised over Kira's sniffles and choked-off sobs. Once she had calmed down he prayed with her for strength, guidance, and patience on her journey. Kira wasn't sure if the patience was supposed to be her being patient with the lesson, or the Prophets being patient with her. 

Kira prayed on her own for a bit, then went to her quarters for money and ordered another uniform from Garak. By that point it was time to meet Jadzia for lunch, they picked the cafe on the upper level of the Promenade. 

"We have the Orb of Time safely where people can't access it without authorization, thankfully Vedek Porta understood why that needed to happen. We're analyzing it at the submolecular level for anything that might have affected you physically." Jadzia informed her. 

"Is this how you feel all the time, having memories of being older than you look?" Kira asked. She'd never really considered that aspect of her friend's life, Jadzia didn't bring it up. 

"Sometimes." Jadzia nodded. "If I see someone who reminds me of a child or grandchild of a past host. When I first met Sisko as Jadzia, I was shocked by how much he'd grown since I last saw him, and it took me a moment to remember that I was his subordinate now, not his mentor. I imagine it's not exactly the same." 

"Not exactly." Kira agreed. It still helped to know her friend somewhat understood how she felt. 

"Have you talked to Vedek Porta yet?" 

"Yeah, he thinks the Prophets are testing me, that I need to learn something from this." 

"What do you think?" 

"I don't know." Kira sighed. "Part of me feels like this is unfair, but I think that's probably the 9 year old logic. But I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from this." 

"I don't know." Jadzia shook her head. Kira suspected her friend had an idea or two, but knew that asking would just make her upset. Professor Keiko O'Brien approached their table. 

"Hey Kira, can we talk for a minute?" She asked with a smile. 

"Okay." Kira didn't know what they had to talk about. 

"I'll see you at 1900." Jadzia said as she headed back to Ops. 

"What's going on?" Kira asked. 

"You heard that some people on the Enterprise D had something similar to this happen, right?" Keiko asked, Kira nodded. "I was one of the people it affected. Miles didn't feel like it was his place to say anything, but I wanted to let you know in case you want to talk. That's also why we offered to let you stay with us, I know how unnerving it can be to suddenly be much shorter than you're used to." 

"I appreciate the offer, but I don't think unfamiliar surroundings would help. Thank you, though." Kira smiled. "Can you explain what happened to you? Bashir hasn't told me anything." 

"It was a transporter malfunction, something to do with our DNA I think? What I mostly remember is that there were hostile aliens on board at the same time, sorry." 

"It's okay, it doesn't sound like what happened to you will help figure out how to fix me. I had an Orb vision from the Orb of Time and..." Kira gestured to herself. 

"There's one other difference I noticed, when those on the Enterprise were made children, we kept our same hairstyles. Your hair grew." 

"When I was 9 I had long hair. The Orb brought me back to that." Kira ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Exactly." Keiko agreed. "It's like, instead of making your body as it is younger, your current consciousness was put into your body as it was when you were younger." 

"Do you think this might help Dax and Bashir?" Kira asked urgently, rising from her seat. 

"I'm not sure." Keiko said evenly, tempering Kira's excitement. "We can discuss this with them if you're done eating." 

"I am." Kira nodded. They headed to the infirmary. 

"It's an interesting deviation." Bashir frowned in thought. "Kira, is there anything else that reverted back to how it was when you were younger?" 

"I should have loads of bones that haven't been broken yet." She answered immediately. 

“That’s simple enough.” Bashir nodded, grabbing a scanner. “If this body is your adult body aged-down, you’ll have evidence of broken bones.” Kira held out an arm. “No broken bones.” Bashir stated. 

"What does that mean?" Kira asked. 

"I don't know." The doctor sighed. “The body does have a sort of memory of trauma, it’s possible that the Orb affected you temporally? I really can’t say just yet.” He frowned apologetically. 

“It’s alright Bashir, we weren’t expecting an immediate answer, just hoping it would help.” Keiko answered. Kira had been hoping for something more solid, even if it was just Bashir’s confidence, but she nodded in agreement with Keiko. She thanked them for their help and left. 

Kira knelt in the shrine. It was easier to pray here now for some reason. She again asked the Prophets for guidance. If she was meant to learn a lesson, help her realize what needed to be learnt. Eventually she lost focus and left. Kira lay on her couch and read about how to effectively, gently parent a child her age, pushing her hair away from the padd, trying to negate the static charge that had it drifting back. Partway through reading she got bored. She looked around her quarters and sighed. She didn't want to spend more money at Quark's, she didn't want to spend time with Keiko O'Brien and her daughter, or Jake Sisko and Nog, but she didn't have much in her quarters to do. Most of her days were taken up by work, and now that she couldn't work she was horrendously bored waiting for her friends to fix her. Did the Prophets want her to learn patience? Should she force herself through the boredom? 

Kira found herself in the bathroom, her hair tied up tight, taking the knife from her boot to the thick mess of hair. She'd have to sharpen her knife after this, she should have sharpened it before. As she sawed through, there was nothing for the hair tie to hold onto and her job got harder. Kira gripped her hair tight in her other hand and kept sawing. She didn't want a real haircut, just something for now to keep it out of her way. She finally got through, and into her hand. She ran it under the sink and winced, watching the blood go down the drain. After disinfecting it and putting her hand back together with a dermal regenerator she looked in the mirror. Her shoulders sagged as she looked at the mess she'd made of her hair. She had quite a clean up job ahead of herself. She started with the hair in front of her face, so she'd at least be able to see what she was doing. 

"Kira to Keiko O'Brien." Kira sighed. 

"What's up, Kira?" 

"Just wondering who cuts Molly's hair." There was a hairdresser on the station, but maybe...  


"Oh, I do. Did you want a trim?" 

"Something like that." Kira frowned at her hair in the mirror. 

"Molly's still napping, would you be comfortable coming over to my quarters?" 

"Sure. Be there soon. Kira out." She ended the comlink. How to hide her hair for the walk to the O'Brien's quarters? She grabbed a long sleeved shirt and managed to twist and tie it artfully enough to look okay and cover her hair. 

"Hey Kira." Keiko smiled. 

"You should know before we start, I tried to cut my hair myself." Kira said. "And then I tried to fix it. And now it's the worst it's ever been." 

"Well, I'll do my best." Keiko replied. Kira pulled the shirt off her head and Keiko's eyebrows shot up in surprise, then she frowned and circled Kira. "It's not ideal, but I can try to get it back to how you usually wear it, if you trust me to do that." 

"You can't make it any worse." Kira sighed. "Where do you want me?" 

"At the dining table is fine." 

Thankfully Keiko didn't ask why Kira had cut her hair, she didn't ask about Kira at all as she worked. She talked about how much she enjoyed her work on Bajor, her joy at being back with her family, her hopes for a second child at some point. Eventually Molly woke from her nap and Keiko got the girl playing in her room, and didn't mention Kira at all. 

"I think that's about as good as I can do, go check the bathroom mirror." Keiko said, putting the scissors and comb down. "We can curl the top back if you want." Kira grinned at herself in the mirror. She looked more like an adult, more like herself. 

"It looks great, thank you so much Keiko." 

"I'm glad I could help. Now, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep Molly occupied, so if you don't want her asking questions, you should probably head out." 

"I really appreciate it." Kira nodded and left. 

Kira dropped her shirt back in her quarters and headed to Quark's to wait for Jadzia. She was a little surprised that her afternoon had gone so quickly. 

"Hey Kira, I like your hair." Jadzia smiled. 

"Thanks, Keiko O'Brien rescued me." Kira smiled ruefully as they headed up to the holosuite. "So what do we do in snow?" 

"We can start with sledding, maybe move up to skiing or snowboarding, build a snow fort if you want." Jadzia grinned. "But first, we suit up." The holosuite opened to show rows of mildly puffy synthetic suits in different sizes, that covered a person's entire body aside from their face. Jadzia grabbed some that looked like Kira's size and they both found suits that fit. Jadzia advised her to pull her hood up before they left, Kira noted a soft face cover tucked into the hood that she may have to use later. 

They left the building and Kira frowned at the bitingly cold air while Jadzia took a deep breath and grinned, her hood still down and hair still up. They could see their breaths. Kira knew that her best friend was an alien from a much colder planet, but that didn't necessarily mean her best friend wasn't also crazy. They were in a hilly, semi-forested area. They each grabbed a metal hemisphere from a stack nearby and trudged up a hill. 

"Any progress on the Orb?" Kira asked. 

"A theory." Jadzia sighed. "It's possible it emits chronitons, but only when interacting with someone. That might explain your experience, but why it scans the same as always when inactive." 

"But you don't want it to interact with anyone and make them a kid as well." Kira stated. 

"Exactly." 

"I'll go first and pack it down to make the track." Jadzia said when they were at the top. Kira watched Jadzia sit cross-legged on the sled and guide herself down the hill with her mittens. Kira was surprised her toes weren't cold yet. "Okay," Jadzia waved from the bottom, "your turn." Kira put her sled down and sat on it like Jadzia had, one hand on the grips near the edge, the other pushing herself forward. Gravity took over and she slid quickly down the hill, grinning. "Well?" Jadzia asked as Kira stood. 

"You may have a point." Kira chuckled. 

"The more we go down this track the more it will pack the snow, and the faster we'll go." Jadzia grinned, already climbing the hill again. Jadzia took a running start to her next trip down the hill and Kira eventually copied her, flying down and laughing. Jadzia was fearless, Kira watched her best friend run and jump on a sled, riding it down the hill standing and whooping. 

"What were those other things you suggested?" Kira asked. 

"If you want to keep going down hills we can try skiing or snowboarding, if not we can build stuff like forts, snow sculptures, or a giant snowball." Jadzia replied. Suddenly Kira's mittens started to heat up and she looked at them. "If the suit detects your body heat getting too low it uses solar and mechanical energy to turn on warming for the extremities." Jadzia said. "And if you start getting too warm it can open microvents in the torso so you don't do something dangerous like take the suit off. Did you want to keep going downhill?" 

"Yeah." Kira grinned. 

"Computer, change setting to skiing venue." Jadzia ordered, they were immediately outside a building, with different shapes and sizes of boards leaning on railings. Jadzia directed her attention to the characters coming down the nearby hill, much larger than the last. Kira decided on one board, it would be easier to control than two. Jadzia got rid of the characters and helped Kira learn how to get on and control the board. Jadzia stayed beside Kira as she made her way down the hill, going too fast and falling, over and over. They both looked up at the 5 minute warning. 

"Two hours already?" Jadzia complained to no-one. 

"I've definitely worked up an appetite." Kira smiled. 

"There's one more thing I want to show you." Jadzia smiled. "A drink at Quark's." 

"Sure." 

"It's best if you're a little cold when you drink it." Jadzia continued hesitantly. Kira's smile fell as Jadzia started to remove her cold suit. Her best friend was crazy. "C'mon Kira, this is all going to disappear in a few minutes, you'll be fine." Jadzia pleaded. Kira pulled her hood down and unzipped her suit, but went no further in her discomfort. Jadzia widened her blue eyes and pressed her wrists together. 

"That's how Ferengi plead." Kira scowled, but she took her cold suit off too, tucking her hands under her arms. 

Once the scene dissolved back to the holosuite they went to the bar. Quark had two warm mugs with whipped cream on top waiting for them, Kira held hers with both hands gratefully. She took a sip to find it rich and sweet. 

"What is this?" She asked, grinning at the whipped cream on her friend's nose. 

"Rahavala. Trill native berry juices, warm with sweet cream." 

"I really like it. Thank you for showing me all this." 

"I'm so glad." Jadzia grinned. "I just got the datarod a week or so ago, and I was hoping to find a friend to go with me, so thank you, too." They found a table and sipped their rahavala while they waited for their dinner. 

"How weird is it for you to spend time with me while I look like this?" Kira asked while they ate. 

"It comes and goes." Jadzia replied with a shrug. "It's easier now that your hair is short again, but teaching you to snowboard and stuff, I did have to remind myself that you're older than you look." 

"Thanks for not mentioning how cute I look as a kid." Kira grinned slyly at her friend, who laughed. 

"As long as you know, I'll keep myself from saying it. Somehow." Jadzia smiled. After dinner Kira went to her quarters to go to bed, their time in the holosuite had definitely worn her out, and needing so much sleep definitely cut down on her free time with her friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been planning to have this chapter and the next be 1 chapter, but then this got long, so here we are. I have a couple ideas for lessons Kira could learn from this, but I'm also interested in what y'all think.


	3. theory

Kira jerked awake with a gasp. She tried to push the nightmare from her mind as she got a glass of cold water from the replicator, hands shaky. But what if it was an Orb Shadow? She sniffled. She wished someone was here. She hadn't had to deal with nightmares alone until the Occupation was over, she'd always had her father, and the members of the Shakaar. Living alone on the station meant she didn't disturb anyone else, but it also meant she only had a few years practice of going back to sleep on her own after a nightmare, instead of sitting up helping tend the fire and keep watch for as long as she needed. She knew it was juvenile, but she really wanted her father to sit over her; his large, warm, callused hand on her back, promising to keep her safe. She shivered at her nightmare, now just pieces and emotion, and knelt in front of her prayer wheel. She prayed for bravery and strength, for sleep to come swiftly and dreamlessly. She lay in bed but couldn't stop the fear of having another nightmare, the fear that she was having an Orb Shadow and the Prophets were displeased with her. She told herself to give these worries to the Prophets, to let them take care of her. 

Kira padded down the corridor in her nightgown, uniform jacket, and shoes. This was a bad idea, she was being juvenile. She hit the chime for Jadzia's quarters and counted to 30. When her friend hadn't opened the door, Kira resolved to deal with her nightmare on her own, to not bother anyone else with it, and headed back to her quarters. A second later she heard the door open and turned back around. Jadzia was frowning at her in confusion. 

"Nerys?" 

"I… I had…" Her hands clenched into fists. "I'm sorry, this is stupid." 

"I do stupid stuff all the time. C'mon." Jadzia went back into her quarters and Kira followed. Jadzia got them both a mug of herbal tea from the replicator and sat on the couch. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. This is so stupid-” 

“Nerys, it’s 0200. Just tell me what you need.” Jadzia said softly. Kira sniffled. 

“Just- just someone nearby. I had a nightmare and I- I don’t want to be alone.” She wiped her face with a hand. 

“Okay. I’m going back to bed, when you’re done with your tea you can join me or take the couch.” Jadzia said simply. She took a long sip of tea before putting her mug in the replicator and going to the bedroom. Kira started to cry, she didn’t deserve a best friend like Jadzia. She muffled herself in a throw pillow until she could calm down, then took off her shoes and jacket and climbed in bed with Jadzia. 

“You okay?” Jadzia’s fingers ghosted over Kira’s upper arm. Kira looked down in the dim light to see a large mottled bruise. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s nothing to worry about.” She assured. “I just want to go to sleep.” 

“Okay.” Jadzia waited until Kira settled and rubbed her back for a few minutes. Kira stared at her friend's unfamiliar decorations until she fell back to sleep. 

Kira woke confused, then remembered the events of the previous night. She felt embarrassed at having to sleep over with her friend after a nightmare, she was an adult, even though she didn't look like it right now. She got out of bed and Jadzia rolled over with a questioning noise. 

"It's okay, go back to sleep." Kira said quietly. Jadzia squinted at her. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong, go to sleep." 

"Come back to bed." 

"In a bit." Kira lied. Jadzia shouldn't be awake at this hour, so if Kira could get her friend to fall back to sleep she could go back to her quarters and start her day. But she didn't want to bother Jadzia any more than she already had. 

"What's going on?" 

"I just woke up, you don't have to get up yet, go back to sleep." Kira assured. Jadzia gazed at her for a long few seconds. 

"Okay. Help yourself to whatever." She murmured, rolling over and pulling the blanket back up. 

Kira pulled her jacket and shoes on and stopped by Garak's on the way to her quarters, getting dressed in his changing room again. He told her he 'very much hoped' she wouldn't be rebuilding her wardrobe one day at a time and she said she could make do with 3 outfits. She prayed and had breakfast, then headed to the replimat, betting Jadzia would want to talk before work. 

"Hey." Jadzia murmured, sitting beside her. 

"Hey." Kira echoed. "Thanks for last night. Sorry I woke you." 

"Kira, it's fine. I have years of memories of being woken in the middle of the night for a bad dream." Jadzia assured. 

"Yeah." Kira sighed, remembering her fear that it wasn't a regular nightmare, that it was an Orb Shadow, but she couldn't remember why she felt that way. 

"If I acted weird, I'm sorry. I remember I almost called you by my kids' names." 

"You didn't call me by anyone's name." Kira smiled. "And you didn't act weird. I was the one acting weird." 

"You said your brain is reacting to things like you're 9, right? It makes sense that a nightmare would be even scarier than usual." Jadzia replied. Kira had forgotten about that part. "I still have nightmares about being an Initiate, about the hallucinations from Joran, and if I had to deal with them as a kid, I'd ask for help too." Jadzia admitted. 

"Thanks." Kira murmured. 

“Your arm okay?” 

“Yeah. It’s from the other day, I just- I played too hard.” Kira said softly. It was close enough to the truth. 

“Oh, a good bruise.” Jadzia smiled. When Jadzia went to Ops, Kira went to the shrine. 

"Back again?" Vedek Porta asked. 

"How do I know if something is an Orb Shadow?" Kira asked. "I had a- a dream last night and I don't remember much of it, but I remember waking up and worrying it was an Orb Shadow." 

"If it was an Orb Shadow, you would remember it." Vedek Porta replied. "Can I give you some advice?" 

"Of course." 

"I doubt the Prophets need you to be any more pious. Your answers lay outside this shrine, outside your faith." 

"Thank you, Vedek Porta." Kira nodded and left. She wished the Prophets would just tell her what they wanted from her. She felt like she was wasting her days doing nothing. 

Kira found herself on the upper level of Quark's, watching the people below. 

"Hey, Kira." Jake Sisko greeted as he joined her. 

"Hey, Jake." They stood in silence for a few minutes. "So what are you up to?" She asked eventually. 

"Not much." He shrugged. "I'm stuck on a story so I'm trying to think of something else, that usually helps me. You?" 

"Trying to figure out why the Prophets made me a kid, what they want me to learn from this." Kira sighed. "Vedek Porta said my answer lies outside my faith. I think he might just be uncomfortable with me spending so much time in the shrine." 

"Well, if they made you young for a reason, the lesson they want you to learn would be connected to that, right?" Jake asked, Kira nodded. "Something to do with being a kid, being young or small…" He mused. 

"All I've been able to come up with is that I'm so bored, maybe the Prophets want me to learn patience." Kira sighed. 

"Could be. How do you know when you learned the right lesson?" 

"I go back to normal, hopefully." 

"If they wanted you to learn something, they wouldn't make it hard to figure out, right?" Jake reasoned. "Like, maybe it would be hard to do, you wouldn't want to do it since it's a lesson, but it should be, I don't know, a necessary part of being a kid. Right?" He asked. 

"Makes sense." Kira replied. "I think patience fits that." 

"Is patience something you need help with?" Jake asked. "I- I mean, you've never seemed like an impatient person to me." He backtracked. 

"You haven't seen me at work." Kira smiled. "Though maybe it's not patience, maybe I need to work on my anger." 

"You always have good reason to be angry though." Jake replied. "It's not like you're angry just to get your way." 

"I appreciate the support." Kira chuckled. They watched the people in Quark's for a few more quiet minutes. "Well, thank you for talking this out with me." Kira said as she left. She felt like Jake's reasoning made sense, and she needed to be somewhere without distractions to think about it. 

Kira lay on her couch with a blank padd and wrote out all the theories Jake had reasoned out. If what she needed to learn was an inherent part of being a kid, she might already be doing it and not realizing. So she made a list of all the things she’d done since her Orb vision. 

> > Testing in the Infirmary 
> 
> > New Clothes 
> 
> > Holosuite 
> 
> > Dinner w/ Jadzia 
> 
> > Talk w/ Jabara 
> 
> > Talk w/ V. Porta 
> 
> > Talk w/ Keiko O’Brien 
> 
> > Haircut 
> 
> > Holosuite w/ Jadzia 
> 
> > Nightmare 
> 
> > Talk w/ Jake Sisko 

She’d spent quite a bit of time with Jadzia, and a lot of time talking to people. Vedek Porta and Jake had said that it might be a tough lesson to learn. What had been difficult for her now? Learning her new limits, getting upset more easily. She couldn't think of anything else. What if she never learned the lesson the Prophets were trying to teach her? And Dax and Bashir couldn't figure out how to age her back up? What if she had to grow up again? Would she be allowed to stay on the station? Would Sisko let her return to work? Or would she be treated like the child she looked like? She resolved to talk to Sisko about it. Her stomach grumbled. She'd talk to Sisko after lunch. She put her 2 dirty outfits in the laundry. It seemed like a waste of energy, to only wash 2 childrens outfits, but the holosuites took up more energy in less time, so she didn't feel too bad. 

People smiled and nodded at Kira as she headed through Ops. Jadzia wasn't at her station, likely she was studying the Orb. Kira entered Sisko's office. 

"What can I help you with, Major? I promise we're investigating all avenues to return you to normal." 

"I understand, sir. I thought we might want to discuss a plan for if returning me to normal," she took a deep breath, "either takes longer than expected, or isn't possible." It was a scary thought, but they should have some sort of plan. Sisko looked at her seriously. 

"I'm not ready to explore that option yet, Major. It's been 2 days. Perhaps in 2 weeks-" 

"Permission to speak freely." She interrupted. Sisko nodded. "Sir, I'm worried about what will happen to me if we can't figure this out." She admitted. "I'd like to know that I'd be permitted to remain on the station, if not at my job, if I- if I have to grow up again. I understand if my current-" she struggled to find the right words, "current mental and emotional state don't allow me to return to work, but I don't want-" she sniffled. "I don't want to leave my friends, to be treated like a child-" 

"Woah, hey." Sisko rounded his desk to hold her shoulders. "Nerys, I promise you that I will fight like hell for you to stay on the station if that's what you want. You are a valued member of this crew, and this station." Kira sniffled again and nodded with a smile. 

"Thank you sir." 

"Anything else you want to discuss?" 

"No sir." 

"Dismissed." He nodded and returned to his desk. Kira left to find something to do with herself, and upon leaving Ops spotted Odo leaving Quark's. 

"What's Quark up to now?" She smiled. Odo looked at her surprised for a second before he recognized her. 

"Major Kira. I've missed going over the Criminal Activity Report with you." 

"I missed you too, Odo." She smiled as they slowly walked the Promenade. 

"I haven't heard much about what happened to you." He said hesitantly. 

"Probably because there's not much to tell. Two days ago after lunch I was in the Shrine, I had an Orb vision from the Orb of Time, and when it was done I looked like this. Bashir and Dax are researching how to get me back to normal, but don't have many leads. Vedek Porta thinks the Prophets did this because they want me to learn something." Kira summed up. 

"Learn what?" Odo asked. 

"That's what I need to figure out." Kira frowned. 

"Could the Prophets simply want you to have a chance to enjoy childhood?" Odo asked. 

"I doubt it. There's not much opportunity here to enjoy childhood, and in my vision the Prophets said I needed help." 

"And you don't think they were saying you need help enjoying yourself." Odo nodded. 

"I'm enjoying myself less now than a week ago." 

"You always seem rather busy to me, could you take this time to relax?" 

"I like being busy, Odo. I'm not good at relaxing, I need something to do, and if I can't find anything, I'll make something to do." Kira explained. "Especially being 9 years old again, I can't stand boredom. The other day I was so bored I went to the holosuite  _ alone _ ." She chuckled. Odo looked at her in surprise. 

"That is quite bored." He noted. "I wish I could help, but I can't think of what the Prophets could be trying to teach you, nor anything for you to fill your free time with." 

"It's okay, Odo, I appreciate the thought." 

Kira spent the rest of the day in her quarters, wandering the Promenade, and frowning at the list on her padd. She should be able to figure this out herself, she'd already bothered her friends about it enough, and they didn't believe in the Prophets. After dinner in her quarters Kira got a call from Bajor, from Vedek Bareil. 

"Nerys?" He asked. 

"Yes, it's me, I know I look-" Kira stopped when Bariel smiled and held up a hand. 

"I heard about what happened. Is there anything I can do to help, either with the situation or you personally?" 

"I don't think so, but I don't know much about what's going on with the orb." Kira sighed. "Yesterday Jadzia was working off the theory that the orb shot me with chronitons or something to de-age me. Vedek Porta says the Prophets are trying to teach me something, but I can't figure out what." 

"Which approach are you leaning towards?" Bariel frowned. 

"I need to learn the lesson the Prophets are trying to teach me by the time Starfleet is comfortable with me having another orb vision. Right now they're worried more people will be turned into children and don't want anyone near it." 

"Did you want to discuss it with me?" 

"I don't know." Kira sighed. "You take the prophecies and twist them around to mean the opposite of what everyone else thinks they mean. I don't know if that would help me with my Orb vision." 

"Okay. It's your decision, Nerys, I'm not going to pressure you." 

"What have you been doing?" She changed the subject. 

"The life of a Vedek is not a very exciting one these days. Commander Sisko and Lieutenant Dax contacting me is the biggest news I've had in weeks." He replied apologetically. Kira nodded with a sigh. After a quiet minute she spoke up. 

"I don't mean to be rude, but I have the brain and body of a child now and I'm already getting tired at 2130 station time. Is there anything you wanted to discuss?" 

"Nothing in particular, just wanting to help. Goodnight, Nerys." He smiled. 

"Goodnight, Antos." She smiled back, glad he understood, and ended the call. She hated how early she got tired now, the fact that most of her day was spent bored and alone while her friends were on-shift. 


	4. practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are firmly in the emotional hurt/comfort bit of the story!

Kira found herself outside Jadzia's quarters at 0200 again. 

"Nightmare?" Jadzia asked, letting Kira in. 

"Yeah." Kira sighed. 

"Talk in the morning?" 

"Okay." 

"Nerys, I don't want to force you, I just want to be here to help." Jadzia frowned as they got in bed. 

"We'll talk in the morning." Kira repeated. It was the least she could do for her best friend. 

Kira woke and debated what to do. She wanted to go back to her quarters and pray, but Jadzia wanted to talk, but Jadzia wasn't awake yet. She tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. Eventually she slipped out of bed and got breakfast from the replicator. She could have breakfast now, talk with Jadzia, then return to her quarters to get dressed and pray. A minute later Jadzia joined her. 

“Sorry I woke you. Last night and just now.” Kira murmured. 

"Would it help if you spent nights here? Or if I gave you permission to enter my quarters anytime?" Jadzia asked. Kira glanced enviously at her friend's raktajino, then shook her head. 

"No, you don't need to do that. I need to stop bothering you with my bad dreams." 

"No, you don't." Jadzia frowned. "Nerys, I'm happy to help you in any way I can. If me being nearby helps you, it's not a hardship for me." 

"But me waking you in the middle of the night can't be helpful for your work." Kira argued. "And I'm a grown woman, I should be able to deal with a nightmare on my own, 9 year old brain or no." 

"Okay, Nerys." Jadzia sighed. "I don't want to argue, I can see I'm not going to convince you." 

Over breakfast Kira learned that Jadzia was still having trouble getting the Orb to activate without an actual person there. Kira figured that that would be difficult, if not impossible, the Prophets only communicated with whom they wanted. When Jadzia went to Ops, Kira returned to her own quarters. She was staring at the list on her padd again when Sisko asked her to come to his office. 

"You wanted to see me?" She asked as she entered. 

"Yes." Sisko smiled at her. "I know you're probably bored with nothing to do all day. I've discussed this with Dr. Bashir, and he can't see a reason for you to be incapable of returning to light duty." Kira had started to get excited, but deflated slightly at 'light duty'. "I don't think Ops would be the best position for you right now, but if you'd like, I have some padds that I would appreciate your help with." Sisko offered. 

"Please." She smiled. He handed her a small stack of padds and assured her that they weren't urgent. 

"You don't need to rush through them, take care of yourself, Major." 

"Commander, I'm short, not ill." She replied with a grin. 

"Just try to keep your work mature and professional. Or as professional as you usually manage." He joked, Kira laughed. 

Kira set the padds on her table. She wished she could be in Ops like normal, but at least she was helping, and had something to do aside from think about why the Prophets made her a child. She finished one padd before lunch, and 3 more by the time her friends would be getting off shift. 

Jadzia asked if she'd like to practice snowboarding for an hour and Kira agreed. She alternated practicing and cheering on her best friend, who was trying to slide her board down a rail as a trick. By the five minute warning Kira could confidently go down the slope alone, and control her descent, and sometimes not fall when she stopped. 

"Ugh, my knees are going to feel like Audrid's tomorrow, I definitely should have stretched first." Jadzia complained. 

"It didn't seem like something that would affect you that much." Kira frowned. "It mostly looked like standing." 

"Yeah, but my knees absorbed a lot of the shock, and I was using a lot of muscles I haven't used in a while trying to stay balanced." Jadzia sighed, tilting her head and rubbing her shoulders. 

That night Kira woke from a nightmare gasping and shaking, that turned into sobs and tremors so bad that she had to use two hands to drink, otherwise she didn't trust herself to not drop the glass. She had dreamt of an unseen force pushing her inexorably toward a cliff edge that would surely kill her, unable to cry for help. She had dreamt of being whipped until she begged for mercy, but she couldn't speak to stop it. She had dreamt of being operated on, conscious but unconscious, able to feel everything, but unable to move. And in all of the dream scenarios, she was completely alone. Kira curled up in bed, holding herself tight, rocking and crying. After a few minutes she paced her quarters, unable to think of something else, unable to stop crying. Her hands were shaking so badly she didn't even try to fasten her shoes for the walk to Jadzia's. 

She'd managed to calm down somewhat by the time she got there, sniffling with hitching breaths, but when Jadzia opened the door Kira remembered the sheer terror that had sent her there and started to cry again. Jadzia scooped her up and held her close on the couch, rocking and rubbing her back. At first Kira cried harder at being treated like a child, then her exhausted body melted in her friend's tight grip. 

Kira woke to find herself on Jadzia's couch, best friend asleep next to her. Kira's stomach tightened, she'd been so weak, she was still so scared. A sob made its way out before Kira could stop herself, Jadzia was awake in an instant and pulled Kira close again. 

"No-" Kira pushed on Jadzia and was immediately released, her friend frowning in hurt and confusion. "I can't- I'm-" she took huge shuddering breaths to try and control herself. 

"Nerys, it's not good for you to keep all this inside." Jadzia said softly. "I know it's scary. Please let me be here for you." Jadzia didn't know what she was talking about, had no clue how terrifying Kira's dreams were, or how scary and embarrassing being vulnerable was, but Kira found herself reaching for her best friend through her tears. Jadzia held her so closely and so tightly Kira almost felt she could fracture and break and not fall apart, that her friend's arms would hold her together. 

Eventually Kira stopped crying and climbed off Jadzia's lap. 

"It seems like they're getting worse." Jadzia observed. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Nerys, you don't have anything to be sorry for." Jadzia frowned. 

"I'm sorry for bothering you. I should be able to deal with this on my own." Kira explained. 

"This is a huge upheaval of your life, a really rare and scary occurrence, nobody expects you to deal with it alone." Jadzia said softly. "I understand that you want to be self-sufficient, but I don't think that's possible or healthy when it comes to emotions. Especially when your nightmares are getting worse. It’s okay to need help." 

“I ought to be able to deal with things on my own.” Kira argued. 

“You’re the only one expecting yourself to deal with this alone. You asked Vedek Porta for help with your vision, you asked Keiko O’Brien for help cutting your hair, why is me helping you with your nightmares different?” Jadzia asked. 

“Vedek Porta is more studied in the religious texts and prophecies than I am. You know more about science than me.” Kira explained. “But normal stuff, I should be able to do it alone. I didn’t want to ask Keiko for help with my hair, I just ended up needing it. I didn’t want to ask you for help with my nightmares." Kira admitted. Jadzia sighed. 

"Well, I've got 4 lifetimes of experience at dealing with nightmares, and 7 or 8 lifetimes of experience with friends, does that make it easier to ask for help?" 

"No, Dax." Kira sighed, frustrated. "I don't want to ask anyone for help, I shouldn't need help with this." She was an adult, she should be able to deal with nightmares alone. 

"But clearly you do need help. Please let me be here for you. Your nightmares are getting worse and I worry about you." 

"See, this is also why I didn't want to ask you for help, I don't want you worrying about me." 

"Nerys, you're my best friend. I'm going to worry about you." Jadzia hesitantly laid a hand on Kira's shoulder. 

"I'm fine, you need to get ready for work." Kira changed the subject. Jadzia sighed again, but rose to get dressed. 

"Nightmares can be caused by stress, maybe you should take today to try and de-stress, whatever that means for you." She said from her bedroom. 

"Mmm." Kira replied noncommittally. "I'm going back to my quarters." 

"See you after work?" 

"Sure." 

After her morning prayers, Kira headed to the Infirmary. 

"Bashir?" Kira asked. 

"Major." He greeted her with a frown. "What seems to be the problem?" 

"I'd like you to scan my brain again. I've been having really intense nightmares and I want to make sure it's not a medical thing." Kira said as she pulled herself onto the biobed. 

“It’s likely more intense due to your current brain structure, remember.” 

“Doctor. Please.” She asked. Bashir nodded and went to get the scanner, Kira lay on the biobed. 

“This reading is functionally identical to the reading from the other day.” He informed her. “High stress levels can cause nightmares, and this is a stressful situation, I’d recommend attempting to lower your stress levels.” 

“Great, thanks.” Kira sighed as she hopped off the biobed and left. 

Everyone wanted her to do things that were hard for her, and they said it like it wasn't a big deal. 'Enjoy being a kid again, Kira. Relax, Kira. Ask for help, Kira.' She went back to her quarters to work on the padds Sisko had given her. At least that would give her something else to think about. After lunch Kira finished the padds and took them to Sisko. 

"Finished already, Major?" He smiled. 

"I had free time." She shrugged. "Anything else I can do?" 

"I suspected this would happen sooner rather than later, but I've only been able to set aside a few more padds for you so far." 

"It's alright, it's something to do." Kira sighed. 

"I expect I'll see you tomorrow, Major." 

"See you tomorrow, sir." Kira nodded and left, padds in one hand. She finished them before the end of the shift. 

After work Kira met Jadzia, who frustratedly informed her that she was no closer to getting the Orb to activate without an actual person interacting with it. Kira just nodded, she knew her best friend wouldn't let her have another Orb vision without knowing it was safe. Nobody wanted Kira to get even younger. Jadzia offered a sleepover in her quarters, or to spend the night in Kira’s quarters, whichever Kira preferred. Kira debated. She didn’t want to burden her friend, she should be able to deal with this alone. But she clearly wasn’t able to deal with it alone. She agreed to spend the night at Jadzia’s. 

Kira went to bed at 2230, Jadzia reading a padd on the couch. Kira didn’t remember whether she woke when Jadzia joined her, but her friend did wake her from a nightmare before it became too horrible. She was able to calm herself and eventually go back to sleep. 


	5. realization

Sisko only had 2 padds for her the next morning, Kira wound up at the shrine before lunch. She didn't know if prayer counted as relaxation, but it helped her feel better somewhat. She looked up at a hand on her shoulder and found Vedek Porta smiling down at her sadly. 

"Talk to me, Nerys." He asked. Kira sighed.

"I've been having more intense nightmares lately, and Bashir and Dax both think it's due to stress, but I'm not good at relaxing, it's not easy for me. This is the closest I get to relaxing. Dax also wants me to ask for help with things that I feel I should be able to do alone, so that's adding more stress." She explained. Vedek Porta nodded. 

"So, due to what has happened to you, you're feeling asked to do things that you don't usually do, things that are difficult?" He asked. 

_Oh._

He nodded with a smile at the look of realization on her face. 

"But why?" She bit her tongue when the thought burst out, as a whine no less. 

"Well, normally you are second in command of the station. I imagine asking for help would be a very useful trait to have. Doubtless it's a stressful position. So the Prophets must be trying to teach you those useful lessons you didn't learn as a child." Vedek Porta reasoned. 

"Thank you, Vedek." Kira stood and left. 

Now that she knew what she needed to learn, Kira just had to get to the Orb of Time again. She knew Jadzia would sooner run a trial on herself than risk Kira. She'd read the reports from the Enterprise on their experience being de-aged, and knew that her voice print wouldn't match what the computer had on record, so she wouldn't be able to access the Orb alone with her security clearance. So her best option seemed to be helping Jadzia figure out how the Orb worked. Though a Vedek or even Ranjen would know more than her. 

After lunch Kira returned to the temple. 

"Vedek Porta? I'm hoping you can teach me about the Orbs and the visions they give." 

"Certainly." He smiled. 

"Do we know how long a vision tends to last?" 

"It varies." He shook his head. "Anywhere from minutes to days." 

"Days?" Kira asked, shocked. Vedek Porta nodded. 

"Kai Kanna received a vision for 4 days, the Vedeks and Ranjen of their temple fed and took care of them so their vision would not be interrupted." He replied. 

"So it's possible to stop a vision." Kira stated. 

"Yes. The box isn't only to protect the Orb from damage, but also to ensure that only those prepared for a vision attempt to receive one. To stop a vision, one simply closes the doors to cut contact with the Prophets, though it is preferred that those not ready for a vision not open the box to prevent having to interrupt the Prophets' message." Vedek Porta explained. 

"Would I be considered ready to attempt another vision?" Kira asked urgently. 

"Do you consider yourself ready? Have you learned what the Prophets are trying to teach you?" Vedek Porta asked calmly. Kira frowned. If she was being honest, she hadn't practiced relaxing and asking for help much over the past few days, but she was impatient to have her adult body back. 

"No." Kira admitted, looking down. 

"I think showing the Prophets that you're working to learn what they want to teach you would help prepare you for your next vision." Vedek Porta said simply. Kira nodded. 

"Thank you, Vedek Porta." 

Kira sat in the Replimat and opened a new file on her padd. In order to be permitted to have an orb vision, Kira would have to convince Jadzia that it was safe, perhaps by assuring her that the vision could be stopped if anything started to go wrong. And in order to make sure it didn't go wrong, Kira should practice relaxing and asking for help, and maybe being a kid. Kira frowned at her padd. This was not going to be easy. 

Kira headed to Jadzia's quarters about half an hour after shift change. The door opened before Kira could hit the chime. 

"Hey Kira, what's up?" Jadzia asked, looking up. "I told the computer to allow you access anytime, and you can sleep here as long as you need." 

"Thank you." Kira said with a small smile. Jadzia cared about her, didn't want her to have to wait for Dax to get the door when Kira had a nightmare. "Vedek Porta figured out what the Prophets want me to learn." She said as they sat on the couch. 

"You're not excited about that." Jadzia observed. 

"He thinks the Prophets want me to learn to relax, and learn to ask for help. I'm not good at either of those. And I think maybe the Prophets also want me to have fun as a kid, but it's hard still having my adult knowledge." Kira sighed. Jadzia nodded. 

"What can I do to help?" 

"I don't know. You're already trying to figure out the orb." 

"I'm not having much luck with that." Jadzia frowned. "I'd like to feel like I'm actually helping you." 

"I talked to Vedek Porta about the orb, he assured me that orb visions can be ended early just by closing the box." Kira replied earnestly. Jadzia shook her head. 

"It's too dangerous to let anyone interact with the orb right now. We don't know how long it took to de-age you." Jadzia replied. Kira sighed, Jadzia was right. 

"Would it help to observe someone else interacting with another orb? Vedek Bareil asked me the other day if he could do anything to help." 

"It might, if I would be permitted to use my tricorder while it's taking place." Jadzia replied carefully. 

"I'll ask him soon." Kira smiled. 

"I'm sorry Nerys, I wouldn't be comfortable with that." Bariel frowned. 

"Antos-" 

"It's not that I distrust you, or Lieutenant Dax, or even Starfleet, but I don't know how the knowledge from those scans might be used by other Federation worlds, maybe dozens or hundreds of years from now." He explained. Kira sighed, he had a point. "What is it you're hoping to learn from this scan?" He asked. 

"I don't _know_." Kira tried not to whine. "I don't think Jadzia knows either, she's just scared that if anyone interacts with the Orb of Time they're going to be de-aged like I was." 

"You know that the Prophets speak to whom they want to speak to." 

"I know that, but Jadzia needs scientific proof." 

"I'm confident you'll come up with something, Nerys. I know it's getting late for you, do you need to go?" He asked. Kira didn't want to, but logically her bad mood may be due to her body already getting tired at only 2119. She sighed. 

"I should probably go." She frowned and nodded. "Goodnight Antos." 

"I really would like to help, Nerys. Goodnight." The call ended and Kira went to her room to flop facedown on her bed. Everything was so aggravating! She debated if she should try to spend the night here, or just go to Jadzia's quarters now. She'd at least start out in her own quarters, she didn't want to inflict her bad mood on her best friend, and she hadn't been having bad dreams every night. 

The next morning Kira got 3 padds from Sisko and returned them by lunch. She wasn't sure what to do with herself. 

"Kira to Keiko O'Brien." She commed. 

"Keiko here, what's up?" 

"I was hoping we could meet for lunch." 

"Sure, let me see if I can find a sitter for Molly and I'll let you know?" Keiko replied. 

"Sounds great, thanks." 

Kira and Keiko met for a later lunch at Quark's. 

"Thanks for finding someone to watch Molly." Kira smiled. 

"Of course. So what did you want to talk about?" 

"I think that the reason the Prophets made me a kid again is because they want me to learn some things. Specifically, I think I'm supposed to learn to ask for help, relax, and enjoy being a kid. So…" Kira took a deep breath, "I'd like your help. It's hard for me to relax and enjoy being a kid when I still feel like an adult, and I'm wondering if there was anything you did when this happened to you that made you more okay with it." She explained. Keiko frowned in thought. 

"If I'm being honest, Kira, when I became a child again, I didn't enjoy it. I was focused on being treated like the adult I still felt like." Keiko replied, Kira nodded. "I do know that kids love arts and crafts, and some adults find them relaxing." Keiko offered. 

"I'm not the best at arts and crafts." Kira frowned. 

"Maybe a coloring sheet? You can replicate them in any difficulty level, and there's so many themes. Animals, landscapes, stellar phenomena, starships, popular holoprograms, I think Miles found some that were just curse words one time, though those were in Earth English…" Keiko offered. 

"Do you think the replicators here would have them?" Kira asked. 

"If not, I'd be happy to ask a favor of someone on the next Starfleet ship to stop here. Or if you want curse words, you could make your own." 

"Thanks." Kira smiled. "I really appreciate it." 

After lunch Kira returned to her quarters to find that the only coloring pages the replicator had programmed were made for Cardassian children. She let Keiko know, who promised to get her some adult coloring pages from a Starfleet database soon. Kira got pencil and paper from the replicator, wanting to try to make her own coloring page with swear words. She wrote a handful of Bajoran curses on the paper, then, unsure what to draw next, added some flowers, and a rough grid. She got colored pencils from the replicator and started coloring. A few minutes later she frowned and stretched her hand out, unused to using a physical writing implement for so long. She started the computer playing music as well, and planning which color would go where. Coloring was taking her focus, giving her another way to pass the time. 

Jadzia asked about dinner together and Kira offered her own quarters. Her hand ached and she wanted to have dinner in private in case she ended up needing to use her non-dominant hand to eat. She was nearly finished with the coloring page when Jadzia arrived. 

"Hey." Kira smiled. 

"Hey. I've missed you." Jadzia replied with a smile of her own. "What're you doing?" 

"Keiko O'Brien suggested I try arts and crafts to relax and enjoy being a kid." Kira shrugged as Jadzia peered at her paper. 

"You did all this?" Jadzia asked, Kira nodded. "Nerys, that's really impressive. I'm not familiar with these words, can you translate for me?" 

"Damn." Kira grinned and pointed to the curses as she said them, Jadzia laughing. 

"Could I join you in arts and crafts?" 

"Sure. How's work?" Kira asked. 

"I miss working with you in Ops." Jadzia sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm no closer to figuring out the orb." 

"Well, it doesn't interact with you, right?" Kira asked. 

"I've been careful not to be in the direct line of the open door." 

"Put a Cardassian Vole in front of it or something." Kira scoffed. The sooner she was allowed in front the orb, the better. Though she was a little bit worried that trying to have another orb vision before proving that she could learn what the Prophets wanted her to would end badly. 

"You know Starfleet wouldn't allow that." Jadzia replied. 

"I know." Kira sighed. They had dinner, Kira eyed Jadzia's paper and found a series of triangles outlined by flowers mostly finished. 

After dinner Jadzia continued to work on her drawing, and asked if she could spend the night when Kira announced she was going to bed. 

"Sure, whatever you're comfortable with." Kira shrugged. 


End file.
